ENOUGH

 

WHAT MAKES ONE'S LIFE CONTINUE TO GO ON

 

IF IT'S ONLY A SHELL AND THE PERSON IS GONE

 

WHY ONE'S HEART YET BEATS IN THEIR CHEST

 

WILLING IT TO STOP, CRAVING DEATH'S REST

 

AS ONE CAN HURT UNTIL CONSUMED BY GRIEF

 

ENDURING WHAT IS AND DEPRIVED OF RELIEF

 

THE SUN WILL STILL RISE AND THEN IT WILL SET

 

ALL LIFE GOES ON WITHOUT A HINT OF REGRET

 

©S. Austin Vincoski



Pockets

 

Sir, there are no pockets in heaven

So what could you be saving it all for

You already have more than enough

And are greedy enough to want more

 

Would you open your eyes and your heart

Would you open those pockets up too

There are so many in such dire need

And their needing someone just like you

 

You can't take it with you when you go

So why not help and show them you care

I think you should empty your pockets, Sir

I think it's time you learned how to share

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Thank You God

 

God, I wish I could see the world through your eyes, if only for a glance

 

I would forgive all sins unconditionally, regardless of the circumstance

 

I would love enough to overcome all the hatred this world has displayed

 

I would comfort those amidst their grief, as fervently they have prayed

 

I would bless those who, without reserve, have handed me their heart

 

I would draw all who cried out to me when their lives had fallen apart

 

I would empower them needing strength so their burdens they can bear

 

I would reassure all souls thought deserted that I have always been there

 

I am but a mortal man, who's mind can't begin to fathom all that you do

 

So thank you God for your unyielding grace as we release this all to you

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

ANGELS

THE LORD HAS A BAND OF ANGELS

 

BUT THEN, LUCIFER DOES TOO

 

SO I PRAY YOUR GUARDIAN ANGEL

 

IS A HEAVENLY ONE GUIDING YOU

 

AMEN

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Vagabond

 

The vagabond sits amidst a crowded city street

Praying that today, he will get something to eat

Two tours in Vietnam left shrapnel in his head

A prisoner of war, his family thought him dead

Everyone moved on, his memory left behind

The vagabond came home partially deaf and blind

Why America despised him, he never understood

He wore his purple heart so they'd know he was good

A rich young man approaches and says "Hey get a job

You disgrace society, you lazy, loathesome slob"

The vagabond looked down with tears he wont display

And said "God bless you sir and have a wonderful day"

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

The First Time

 

You have tempted me with your charming allure

 

I wouldn't give in though, until I was sure

 

When I gave you my all, I felt so complete

 

Now everything else has taken the back seat

 

When we became one, then the line became thin

 

Living and dying for you in the same skin

 

My whole existence, dependent upon you

 

Don't care who I am or regret what I do

 

My love, my addiction, my only reprieve

 

Anticipating you, I roll up my sleeve

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

 



The Doctor

 

My world became an ugly place

Overcome with sadness and pain

Hopeless and helpless reared their face

The search for the toxin in vain

So it tortured my mind on end

So it racked my body each day

No compassion to make it mend

Defeated, I'd nothing to say

They had argued my fragile fear

They even mocked my honest word

So I searched for a dark place near

Where my screams wouldn't be heard

A gentle soul listened for me

He followed the sorrowful sound

Whispering the truth as a plea

My lost has a chance to be found

Just a still, small glimmer of hope

A shred of faith, perhaps to heal

Words empowering me to cope

Only you could see this is real

 

©S. Aistin Vincoski

My Friend Don

 

(In Memory Of Don Swift)

 

Gone from my sight

But never my mind

My thoughts may swirl

But wont leave you behind

 

Each breath I take

Is a part of you

Your in the midst

Of all that I do

 

The beautiful life

That you once lead

Your soul now dwells

Where angels tread

 

(God Bless You Marilyn)

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

My Daughter

 

We are mother and daughter

We have been friend and foe

But I have always loved you

More than you will ever know

 

On the day that you were born

I felt a will so strong

You screamed enough to last

Your entire life long

 

Announcing to the world

That someday they would see

You came here to make a change

To the way things should be

 

As my little girl grew up

I am ashamed to say

That will stronger than mine

Had made you learn the hard way

 

The years passed so quickly

All to soon you were grown

And before me stands a women

With a family of her own

 

You did make those changes

The journey's just begun

And by the grace of God

That will of yours has won

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Benji

The life I lived was hard

The choices I had were few

But God bestowed his grace

The day I gave birth to you

 

I'd never experienced love

Until I heard your newborn cry

I held you so close to me

And swore to you I would try

 

The things that went so wrong

I humbly take all the blame

I have lived all these years

Filled with guilt and shame

 

Sorry could never be enough

For all the damage done

I didn't deserve a beautiful boy

The day God gave me a son

 

Never once did I not love you

You've stayed within my heart

And I grieved for you each day

In the years we've been apart

 

My arms still ache to hold you

Even though you've become a man

I pray for love and forgiviness

Maybe someday, if you can

 

©S. Austin Vincoski



Lucid

 

My hands are dry and withered

My hair all tangled and gray

My eyes show no emotion

My mouth has nothing to say

 

I sit in this chair for hours

I lay in bed unable to turn

I don't like you feeding me

I have pants so wet, I burn

 

You think I can't hear you

You think I am not aware

You think I am just one more

You think I don't really care

 

My child, I see you clearly

My child, I hear your voice

My child, I am a burden

My child, I have no choice

 

Forseeing this generation

Praying before you were born

I knew I'd be at your mercy

And not be treated with scorn

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Taken

 

Someone took my bright sunshine

 

And left a dark and gloomy day

 

Someone took my pretty flowers

 

And left the stems to wither away

 

Someone took my fish and pond

 

And left a spot of muddy ground

 

Someone took my chirping birds

 

And left my tree without a sound

 

Someone took my fresh spring air

 

And left me nothing I could smell

 

Someone took my beautiful world

 

And left me the remnents of hell

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Ranting To God

 

I spent years being angry at God

I thought he didn't hear my prayer

Nothing seemed to change for good

So maybe he just didn't care

Then why did he plan creation

Humans with a conscience and heart

He knew we'd be doomed for failure

Destroy ourselves and fall apart

There are starving little children

Who suffer from disease and pain

While those who control the money

Nothing to lose, but more to gain

There are people who are homeless

Who would never have chose to be

Our Government took everything

The cardboard box they left was free

There are victims being abused

Who bear the bruises from the fights

But it appears that the abuser

The law is protecting with rights

There are some who suffer silent

Who their doctor just hands a pill

But shortly after their suicide

He mails them out their final bill

There are the elderly we've shamed

Who are, but to easy to ignore

They worked hard and sacrificed

To live lonesome, fretful and poor

There are those serving our country

Who fight, not even knowing why

So many have given their lives

Chief beat his chest with a war cry

There are those that are criminal

Who murder with a depraved mind

They can go off the grid for years

But innocent people they find

There are drugs killing our children

Who were looking to have some fun

NASA found life on a new planet

What about the lives on this one

There are those who are drowning

Who were forced as a refugee

There goes another cruise liner

Vacationers on the same sea

God can this chaos ever stop

God will you cease what we began

Accept us back, I beg you God

Renew again your perfect plan

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Baby Boy

 

The day I gave you life

I knew you'd make me cry

When I held my baby boy

You looked me in the eye

Even held your head up

Just as if you would say

I fought hard to get here

Now get out of my way

I held you to my heart

While you were content

The world called your name

And all to soon you went

I loved you baby boy

There was so much to see

And at the end of the day

You always came back to me

Time has changed our lives

Changed us as people too

And today my baby boy

A man through and through

Now your baby boy is born

I saw that look in his eye

He's a fighter like his dad

He'll make his mommy cry

Don't miss even a second

And love him all you can

Soon the world will call him

Your baby boy will be a man

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

My Demon

It smiled at me when I was born
Then pointed straight at me and said
Oh little one, your such easy pickings
I'm going to fill your life with dread
It's presence always there in my shadow
Overwhelmed by the stench of its breath
It wore many differen't disguises
Representing my life and my death
Always an opportunist for torment
The sound of its hiss and its groan
The equivalent of human laughter
It possessed me and called me its own
Invading my dreams through the night
When it reared its disgusting face
Knowing I'd be paralyzed with fear
It was incapable of mercy or grace
My body felt its evil touch me
Ever sickening, seething and vile
It growled, you are still my little one
With that same putrid, demonic smile

©S. Austin Vincoski

Christmas Kills

 

You were truly the love of my life

I knew we would be husband and wife

Our heart as one and our souls collide

Life was beautiful, to be at your side

We built our castle's on the beach

We owned the stars we couldn't reach

I wrote "I love you" in the sand

And then you put a ring on my hand

We raked the leaves and played in the pile

One moment in time, I remember that smile

We sipped our cocoa and snuggled up tight

Your arms around me all through the night

Winter came and it snowed so hard

We made snow angels in the back yard

You dragged home a tiny, little tree

We bought red bulbs so we'd both agree

I had to work that Christmas Eve night

But I had a feeling something wasn't right

So I left work early to check on you

And that's when I found her there too

I spent Christmas all alone in my car

Parked down the street so I wouldn't be far

I couldn't stand to be away from you

And I'd made up my mind we were through

I found a place just across town

So much in my head, I wrote it all down

I sent you a letter every single day

Even though I knew you threw them away

New Year's Eve I finally saw the sun

I felt peaceful inside so I bought a gun

Everyone complaining about Christmas bills

I just said "Yeah, Christmas kills"

I put the cold metal against my head

I love you, but without you I'm already dead

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

In My Father's Eyes

 

I came into this world

From somber circumstance

I was a retched soul

Without a fighting chance

But in my Father's eyes

There was beauty in such pain

He said "You've nothing left to lose,

but everything to gain"

As the years drifted by me

I stumbled and I fell

I lost my youth and innocence

I lost my way as well

But in my Father's eyes

I had only just begun

He said "Slow down my child

you must walk before you run"

As I grew to maturity

The chaos was hard to bear

I was plagued by indecision

Still running, but to no where

But in my Father's eyes

He knew my every need

He said "Now take my hand child,

you follow and I'll lead"

I turned my back on faith

I'd lost all sense of hope

My world crumbled around me

Until one day I couldn't cope

But in my Father's eyes

Was a life I couldn't see

He stretched out his loving arms

And he whispered "Come to me"

Yet I felt so unlovable

My life had been so cruel

Had God only created me

To be a pawn or play a fool

But in my Father's eyes

As he reached into my soul

He said "Yes you are broken,

but I will make you whole"

And in my Father's eyes

Was wisdom beyond compare

He knew I'd come to this place

And he'd be waiting there

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Home

 

 

 

I want to go home

Where the pain will end

No more fake smiles

Or play, let's pretend

I want to go back

To when it all began

Erase that blueprint

And make a new plan

I want happiness

And a best friend too

I'd never feel alone

I'd always have you

A house with laughter

And so full of life

Married to a man

Who adored his wife

Our perfect children

Who would never leave

Or love someone else

And cause me to greive

Family reunions

With my sister and brother

And fond memories

Cause we love each other

This life isn't mine

And never will be

I want to go home

Will you go with me

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

My Pilot

 

(For my brother)

 

Those familiar white lines

As if drawn across the sky

Is one of them yours today

So silently you passed by

 

Taking everyone everywhere

Has it ever crossed your mind

I'm the one that loved you most

I'm the one that you left behind

 

I pray the angels fly with you

And keep you safe day and night

Someday I'll leave this earth behind

I'll be with you then in flight

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Agony

 

There are no simple words

To describe how I feel

And no true emotions

That decipher what is real

As always I am searching

For what I'll never find

Perhaps it is tomorrow

Or something left behind

I retraced every mile

But ended up so far away

I'm cursed for who I am

This is the price I pay

It never made any sense

I don't have a reason why

No heart is left to ache

Or tears left to cry

The screams that I hear

And faces that I see

It's not a nightmare

It dwells inside of me

In my own insane world

Where this agony is fed

I'll survive my existance

And exist until I'm dead

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Kat

 

(I miss you my friend)

 

I hated you on the day you died

For months on end I had cried

Because I loved you so much my friend

And I wasn't there for you in the end

How you hurt when you tied that noose

But I'd have been there to cut it loose

Ironic now as the years passed by

I wear your shoes with a noose to tie

I feel what you had felt that day

This pain so deep, wont go away

I understand, death set you free

Please wait on the other side for me

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Sorrow's Spawn

 

I am sorrow's spawn

 

Birth cry hushed by dawn

 

Spit upon the wall

 

The world watched me fall

 

Beat, I crawled away

 

Yesterday's today

 

Bludgeoning my mind

 

Till truth twisted blind

 

Scarred deep in my chest

 

Poisoned, retched pest

 

Sown hideous seed

 

Slice life, born to bleed

 

Joker sold his pawn

 

I was sorrow's spawn

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Pieces

I know my heart can never break

It was in pieces when I was born

In spite of this, I tried to love

But my welcome sign said "out worn"

The family and friends I once had

So long ago and so far away

Not even one attempted to hear

Not even one intended to stay

I have always known I was flawed

I found those pieces now and then

And all my life I prayed to God

He would put them together again

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Tyler

 

(In memory of)

 

I see the sunshine in your eyes

It only sets when your asleep

I pray all life has to offer

Someday will be yours to keep

I know this prayer was said in vain

I know each day we live a lie

But it's not fate and it's not fair

To watch an innocent child die

I see such courage in your smile

And pride with each step you take

Amazing strength in your will

Yet your fragile enough to break

I'd give my life to save your own

I'd give my soul to find a way

Carry the burden, endure the pain

To always give you one more day

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

I'm Sorry

How do I say I'm sorry

For hurting you this way

I can never take it back

I live with guilt each day

How do I say I'm sorry

Like you, I was deceived

The facts and proof I had

With persuasion, I believed

How do I say I'm sorry

My heart wont let this go

I beg for your forgiviness

Your innocent and now I know

©S. Austin Vincoski

Ghost

There's angels thrashing overhead
Below them lay my body dead
The life I saw as once my own
Is now no more than flesh and bone
The dance of death finally past
I feel my soul emerge at last
My spirit soars, I've been set free
From earthly ties restraining me
Then once again I feel the ground
I see the humans, I make no sound
Longing for peace I lie in wait
A higher power has sealed my fate
The angels left me for the light
I'm merly a shadow, a ghost of night
A chill that you will sometimes feel
My existence you debate as real
Those to whom I may appear
Dread me as their darkest fear
Heaven's deaf unto my cry
While Hell's demons pass me by
No time or place made for my kind
Unsetteled souls life left behind

©S. Austin Vincoski

My Hero

 

 

 

Never knowing from day to day

What pain you would endure

The chaos you called "childhood"

Was lonely, filthy and poor

 

You hid your tears and contempt

Holding your head up high

You said, they may kill my flesh

But my spirit will never die

 

The echo's of "your no damn good"

You've proven them untrue

And one by one those little boy dreams

Became accomplishments to you

 

The man that you've become

With the strength and courage I see

Alone you've taken on the world

And your truly a hero to me

 

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

In Memory of Michael T. (Snake)

5-13-11

God must have had a purpose

That only you could fulfill

As he took you so swiftly

And yes, against our will

Your smile and your kindness

Were bestowed on everyone

Such a beautiful life

Can never be undone

All you loved and created

In your spirit will remain

The God that took you from us

We pray will ease our pain

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Ust

I was born from dust

Treated with disgust

But did what I must

Own nothin but rust

Ate nothin but crust

Yeah, guilty of lust

Never worth my trust

The world so unjust

My life was a bust

Goin back to dust

©S. Austin Vincoski

Beast

It feels like hades in my heart

As I watch my world fall apart

Reality's just a dream away

Tomorrow never comes today

My soul just wanders to and fro

But knows not where it ought to go

I cannot laugh, I will not weep

The screams don't allow me sleep

My mind is gone and my body numb

Oh what a beast I have become

©S. Austin Vincoski

Our Mother

 

She brought into this world

Two daughters and a son

Before her life had ended

And ours had just begun

 

The longing in our hearts

The tears that we cried

Three devastated lives

On the day our mother died

 

Like little lost souls

Through life we would go

Our mother's loving touch

Never would we know

 

For fate had not a plan

In those lonely years ahead

Spent searching for the answers

To things she left unsaid

 

Destined for a purpose

Each of us has grown

Clinging to a memory

Of a mother we've never known

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Precious Love

 

You called it love

The day we met

I am the one

You can't forget

You'll cherish me

Year after year

Refer to me

As love or dear

I'm in your mind

I'm in your heart

It tortures you

When we're apart

You place your trust

And faith in me

You share my hope

Of what could be

You comfort me

And treat me kind

Help me focus

When I am blind

I'm all you want

I'm all you need

Believe in us

So we succeed

You find no fault

And place no blame

You live no lies

Instill no shame

You give me faith

To quench my soul

If I am weak

You take control

You set me free

And let me live

If I should need

It's yours to give

You are content

I'm satisfied

We dance through life

Your by my side

I'm in a dream

I'm still alone

This precious love

I've never known

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Laugh At Me

 

I still hear their laughter

It echo's in my mind

Just a piece of yesterday

I wish I'd left behind

I've always been their fool

They'll always be my pain

And these feelings from my past

Are driving me insane

If I hide my face to cry

I live on sympathy

And if I stand up strong

There's foolish pride in me

Whenever I forget them

They claim I am unkind

But if I try to please them

The more fault they find

If I try to be myself

There's something that I lack

And if I act like someone else

They laugh behind my back

I'll never be accepted

I've been a fool to try

They've laughed since I was born

They'll laugh until I die

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Don't

Don't expect me to open my heart
When you know it's made of stone
Don't expect me to ever need you
You know I'd rather be alone
Don't expect me to wear a smile
As this face is just a mask
Don't expect me to give you answers
To questions you shouldn't ask
Don't expect me to be so human
For humanity is to blame
Don't expect to ever know me
I'm no one, without a name
Don't expect me to show emotion
Because I'm just numb inside
Don't expect me to live my life
When so long ago I died

©S. Austin Vincoski

Baby

My precious little baby

I love you more than words can say

But as I hold you in my arms

I watch your life just slip away

I have prayed for a miracle

Still, your will to live is gone

Tonight I'll rock you fast asleep

But you'll not awake at dawn

Your tiny little fingers move

The last move they'll ever make

And you breathe a little sigh

The last breath you'll ever take

Oh my precious little baby

You have been so dear to me

Your pain has finally ended

Your life was never meant to be

The tears trickle down my cheek

As I must kiss you goodbye

And this is more than I can bear

To watch my little baby die

These bittersweet memories

Will forever flood my mind

But for a grieving mother

No comfort will I ever find

My precious little angel

Has returned from where she came

The world will never know of her

But for this stone that bears her name

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Happy Birthday

 

Momma it's your birthday soon

Almost the tenth of May

I haven't missed a one of them

Even though you've passed away

I look at faded photographs

Knowing they'll make me cry

You were so young and beautiful

So how could you possibly die

I sit and hold your babydoll

Its the only thing of yours I own

It helps me feel close to you

A longing I've not outgrown

I still read your letters, momma

I've memorized each page

And the telegraph that said you died

At only twenty two years of age

I don't have any memories

I was still just a baby then

But your family told me stories

That I wish I could hear again

Your grave is so far away

So I cant put flowers there

I wish I knew what kind you like

I wish you knew how much I care

Can you miss something you never had

Or love someone you never knew

All I know is it hurts me, momma

And I'll never stop needing you

So here's to another birthday

As the years just come and go

And the only gift I have is love

For the mother I will never know

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Humanity

A refugee in my mother's womb
Tossed into a world of doom
Destiny of tears and pain
The child lost, the scars remain
Humanity, it's twisted grin
One soft touch sucks you in
Kind words with a forked tongue
Preach of love and eat your young
Wisdom is no match for fate
I wallow in your pool of hate
Uttering a silent scream
Possessor of a jaded dream
The suffering will never cease
My battered soul aches for peace
Am I the image of God's intent
Or sins of which there's no repent

©S. Austin Vincoski

My Friend

That's all we've ever known is hard
Walking down life's boulevard
The wrong turns we often made
Leaving scars for prices paid
Hand in hand, our heart as one
Together we would learn to run
We ran until we lost our mind
Chasing dreams we'll never find
So another year passed us by
Leaving us the urge to cry
We wandered roads without a name
Attempting life's feeble game
Mostly lost, but sometimes found
We tread on unfamiliar ground
I felt your presence at my side
Fate appointed you my guide
I'll find a path, you lead the way
We'll stumble through another day
The journey's long and hard I know
But I'm there whichever way you go
We may not ever find the end
My life was traveled with a friend

©S. Austin Vincoski