Inner Child

I reconciled

My inner child

She had to know

It's time to go

We both agreed

We had a need

We both regret

Was never met

Bad was done

Nobody won

Wiped her tears

Calmed her fears

Held her tight

Through the night

Morning came

Not the same

A scar on me

I set her free

Time to heal

Make it real

No more past

Today at last

Pent up pain

Has no gain

A silent voice

Had no choice

I found mine

My child is fine

©S. Austin Vincoski

Prisoner

I felt your knife twist in my spine

As all the blame and fault were mine

Circumstance was a dead end road

I learned then to carry the load

 

The tears, the scars, the bloody stain

What is life to endure such pain

 

The shackles I wore for many a year

Controlled me by instilling fear

Accusations, invented, compiled

Yet I loved you whenever you smiled

 

The tears, the scars, the bloody stain

What is life to endure such pain

 

Inside my own body so long ago dead

A thought flashes, why haven't I fled

The whip cracks and I move for you

Another welt, theres more to do

 

The tears, the scars, the bloody stain

What is life to endure such pain

 

Deceive my mind, splinter each bone

Nothings left to call my own

Blinded by abuse, I cannot see

I don't know what you did with me

 

The tears, the scars, the bloody stain

What is life to endure such pain

 

( For all the victims of domestic abuse )

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Threads

I can't repair my shredded dream

 

Yet I'm woven into it's ragged seam

 

Those I love, those I've known

 

Into the fabric each was sewn

 

Miles, no bonds, a bare thread

 

Entangle now memories I dread

 

Each remained, but for their season

 

Each departed without any reason

 

Cut it loose, fall where they may

 

Burn the cloth of my yesterday

 

To dull to believe it would end

 

I denied reality and chose pretend

 

©S Austin Vincoski

A Love Letter From God

I want to be the ray of sunshine

 

That makes your heart feel warm

 

I want to send a gentle breeze

 

Of calm during life's storm

 

I want to fill up that emptiness

 

You've held this void far to long

 

I want to bestow you my wisdom

 

When right still feels so wrong

 

I want to be in that melody

 

Ever running through your head

 

I want to show you new meaning

 

When doing those tasks you dread

 

I want it to be my strong hand

 

That wipes your every weak tear

 

I want to infuse you with courage

 

When I know your filled with fear

 

I want to be your one true love

 

That may never bring you despair

 

I want to feed your soul with truth

 

Unconditionally, I will be there

 

I want you to please, confide in me

 

On that long and sleepless night

 

I want to bless and reassure you

 

That my love is perfect and right

 

I want you to dwell in my paradise

 

And for all of eternity too

 

I want you to know what I've known

 

I have always been in love with you

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

When I Was Nine

 

I have brown hair and freckles on my face

 

I have blue eyes so big they look out of place

 

I am scrawny and have knobby knees too

 

I love art class, the playground and petting zoo

 

I don't understand all of the things I see

 

I just know that I don't want to be me

 

I hold my candle angel tight and I pray

 

I beg God over and over, make it go away

 

I was told once that my mother is dead

 

I heard people say my Daddy's sick in the head

 

I watched them pack up all my Grandma's stuff

 

I remember she yelled "I've had enough!"

 

I don't know what the reasons all were

 

I cry like a baby cause I'm missing her

 

I found her sweater on the back of a door

 

I smell it until it won't smell anymore

 

I am home alone and the youngest child

 

I watch my brother and my sister run wild

 

I hide in my closet whenever I am scared

 

I hid the whole day, but nobody cared

 

I got beat with the belt today, I am nine

 

I know these welts and bruises are all mine

 

I never get to eat good meals like before

 

I don't know why Daddy won't go to the store

 

I got mad when Santa didn't come this year

 

I guess cause there wasn't a Christmas tree here

 

I know more than nine years should know

 

I don't know things to be on my own though

 

I can already tell when grown ups are lying

 

I sneak around them and I keep on spying

 

I don't like the summer cause it's not so fun

 

I heard Daddy's dumping me off to someone

 

I hope it's the farm with the kitten's in the hay

 

I don't like the games some other families play

 

I hate it when grown ups fake being all nice

 

I hear honey and sweetie and sugar and spice

 

I am very shy and I just don't wan't to talk

 

I watch the other kids stand there and gawk

 

I hear them saying "The baby can't speak"

 

I watch them run off and screaming "Freak!"

 

I get free lunches when I go back to school

 

I try my best and I follow every single rule

 

I learned how to clean and sew a button on

 

I can do laundry now and I rake the lawn

 

I teach myself all of the new things I learn

 

I still don't know how to make toast not burn

 

I am having my birthday soon and turn ten

 

I hope I will be a lot more grown up by then

 

©S. Austin Vincoski