Dear Lord

 

Dear Lord please give me strength

 

When my dreams may fall apart

 

Dear Lord please give me sincerity

 

So that I may humble my heart

 

Dear Lord please give me wisdom

 

When the answer can't be found

 

Dear Lord please give me faith

 

That my prayers are heaven bound

 

Dear Lord please give me peace

 

From the chaos and disarray

 

Dear Lord please give me guidance

 

Whenever I should go astray

 

Dear Lord please give me courage

 

To do your will and not my own

 

Dear Lord please give me comfort

 

When I feel lost and all alone

 

Dear Lord please give me kindness

 

To make my enemy now my friend

 

Dear Lord please give me hope

 

When a suffering has no end

 

Dear Lord please give me patience

 

That I regain my self control

 

Dear Lord please give me mercy

 

I beg you save my retched soul

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

Crazy

It's pretty wallpaper in my room

At times I watch it's flowers bloom

I won't eat canned food anymore

The metal has made my mouth sore

Clear is my favorite color today

They sell it in cans that you spray

I hear voices that call me at night

But they never get my name right

My plants need water just like me

Well, they never have to go pee

They tell me I'm out of my mind

We parted ways, it left me behind

©S. Austin Vincoski

The Grooming

 

The fairytales

 

And fables told

 

Entice a child

 

Dreams unfold

 

Whisper kindly

 

Take my hand

 

Footsteps quickly

 

I understand

 

We must hide

 

No longer me

 

With the fairy

 

Flying free

 

All liars lie

 

Tears like rain

 

My innocence

 

An ugly stain

 

Perfect grooming

 

Sweet, sincere

 

Broken promise

 

Love trumphs fear

 

Cycles, circles

 

Changing theme

 

Hands of dread

 

Found my scream

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

You Knew

 

We sailed Queen Elizabeth to leave England behind

After mother died, we had never crossed their mind

 

I went to Francis Parker School number twenty three

For six and a half years it both taught and tortured me

 

I lived in a cement house at twenty eight Harper street

All the neighbor's admitted they had heard us get beat

 

In the trunk of his Ford, my Dad's gold Gran Torino

Was my life packed in a box and no where for us to go

 

We drove to Helen's house one stormy Christmas Eve

But she said we ruined their plans and told us to leave

 

A orange pillow and yellow blanket, Stop-N-Save sold

Without any heat or beds, that floor was freezing cold

 

She ran to the Drop In Center to get us some spaghetti

My sister with her bowl were late. They ate it already

 

We lived at the Flamingo Motel with a swimming pool

It was really lonely there and I didn't ever go to school

 

My brother was in the Army. He came to visit at last

He took me to Hamot Hospital to get my leg in a cast

 

I asked Gary if I was his girlfriend, but he said "maybe"

Then I went to Gullifer's foster home to have my baby

 

You called me a liar and guilt buried the truth for you

Yet I had survived it knowing all along that you knew

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

 



It Was Never About:

 

It was never about the

 

Ugly words I left on a page

 

It was never about the

 

Insane, chaos of our age

 

It was never about the

 

Reasons for inflicted pains

 

It was never about the

 

Who cowers or who reigns

 

It was never about the

 

Being the bad seed sown

 

It was never about the

 

Repeating it when grown

 

It was never about the

 

Severing the family tree

 

It was never about the

 

Curse it has come to be

 

It was never about the

 

Rotten deeds been done

 

It was never about the

 

Feeling your the only one

 

It was never about the

 

Distance that you chose

 

It was never about the

 

Choice to be one of those

 

It was never about the

 

Cheating, deceit and lies

 

It was never about the

 

Unsaid hello's or goodbyes

 

But it was all about the

 

Loving you, but only to learn

 

What I've written is true

 

I'll never be loved in return

 

©S. Austin Vincoski

 



Mom

 

It's Mother's Day

And your not here

Yet, I still cry

For you each year

I was so small

When you died

You left no trace

As if you'd lied

I'm older now

A truth was found

No longer hidden

Deep in the ground

I accepted it

Though ugly and sad

I wasn't wanted

By you nor Dad

The damage done

I have moved on

Loving you both

Greiving your gone

You gave me life

Only you know why

I can't thank you

Or say, goodbye

Your part of me

I won't forsake

Dwelling on this

My heart will break

The tears will flow

So many  secrets

That now I know

Wherever you are

My love is there

Your still my "Mom"

This cross we bear

 

©S. Austin Vincoski